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And so we are, after endless tiresome work and sleepless anxious nights. With a deep scratching in our core whenever encountering people that made us comfortable before.
With numb hands, you trade a soul for a soul. How that ordeal ended was fair for nobody, but neither was the start of it all.
Despite where we are, a new constant has developed: We have become translucent.
Conversations before this point have been mostly focused away from our actual person, there is always some conversation piece to peddle if need be. Algorithmic feeds tend to make that very easy. Now everything touches our very core, ourself.
No sense clinging to the past. I expected daggers behind backs, but instead I was met with support. I can't give that back to my peers, I don't believe I would have done the same in their shoes.
Ortungsverlust #
We are lost, now that we've put sail towards something, we are stuck in fog. Is this actually improvement? Are we stagnating? Does anybody believe we are doing better? There is no easy way to measure the progress of this, it's not tangible and mostly subjective even.Sometimes that makes me wish to be with the people that expressed tenderness to me. How would they feel about how I'm doing? Perhaps they would support me, perhaps they would ridicule me.
That concept is scary. I spend good effort on introspection and self, a few years ago, this used to be both very easy and very useful.
Now it's confusing, unfruitful.
We have become an empty vessel drifting across the ocean.
Ein Versprechen #
Today days are slower, people chat less with fewer reasons to, more time left towards introspection. I will shut my eyes and ears, not process what is unclean, resistive to vulnerability and perversions; I become a perfect snapshot of whoever I was.Perhaps there is a time to desecrate this state of existence, but not right now.
We will doze until then.